During my meditations and self-inquiries last year I went through extremely different states of being and modes of perceiving reality. Here are what I gathered in some notes, trying to classify how what I think I am affects the way I perceive and interact with the reality around me, and it with me.
Note that doing this is actually counter-productive to fully embodying Truth! I only want to share this as a tool for anyone curious about finding out more about reality. I don’t recommend keeping any of this model as an identity for long or misinterpreting it for the actual Truth. It is important to streass that the actual Truth can never be written or modeled! But I can point out some pitfalls and traps I have fallen into, with the hope that you can more easily avoid them!
- Expected interaction-self.
This self-image is entangled with:
- State or states of being
- Projections on others (layers upon layers of unconscious thoughts, which come and go)
- Purpose and objectives in the moment. Trying to get something, to go somewhere “in the future” (which does not exist, it is only thoughts in the present)
- The expressing self which is often hindered by the inward reflecting self (wrapped up in believing the false idea and related thoughts of the past actually existing).
- Reflecting self:
Assumes responsibility for past circumstances, which leads to accumulation of unnecessary guilt, shame and fear.
- The unconscious self. It can be FULLY brought within present consciousness. It encompasses everything that you normally do not think is you! Everything phenomena you perceive! If the transfer from unconscious to conscious is complete, a separate outward and inward self is no longer a relevant distinction. A trap of the mind is to become obsessed with “getting back” into such a state; the mind may store it as a pleasant memory, and percieving it as past, try to evoke it by associated memories.
- Emotional self: suffering, accustomed to accumulating guilt/shame/fear. The pitfall here is to think that there exists a reason to carry them. You have to be very aware and identify the thoughts that lead you think that there is a you that caused them, and then call these thoughts and beliefs out as false. Finding opposite experiences in the past might help convincing a stubborn mind.
- Inquiring self. The pitfall here is to assume that there is anything wrong with you at a any level. The truth is that there is not! You want to unravel the self-image you have built, not keep or add anything to it.
- Prophetic self: The mind may connect any or even all observations into future projections. This can easily go VERY far due to the infinite nature of reality. Some “risks” are following one of the paths. An egoic identity will be created out of it, which might become afraid of the sudden changed and realized potential. It might start thinking that one path is a ‘must’ or ‘destiny’ (this may remove true authority, take consciousness out of the present moment).
- Synchronistic self: Certain patterns which were hidden before come to the surface at higher levels of awareness. Now new patterns are more easily created than before. There is still a risk of developing addictive/obsessive behaviors. Yes, patterns can be created by connecting ANY observed phenomena, but this can easily take precedence over cognitive abilities, distracting focus from something you truly want to accomplish. Becoming enlightened can be like being a small child again, where one is vulnerable to external energies and influences. Great discernment is required!
Ideally you want to be close as possible to an observing, aware, neutral self which is unifying and conscious at all times. Then, gradually, you will become more and more happy and free. This self has no purpose while still acting. It acts in a flowing way, fully aware and present.
What contributed most to my first full enlightenment experience was
- About one year of highly mindful manual labour with little talking (4 hours every 5-6 days a week)
- A daily meditation practice of around 20 minutes every evening
- Daily physical workout (a combination of cardio, calisthenics, weight training and yoga)
- Self-directed openminded online research and studies (mostly books, wikipedia and YouTube videos) into various philosophical and religious schools and teachings.
The path towards enlightenment and embodying/becoming Truth and experiencing unconditional love and happiness is always to be found by becoming aware of existence right now!