Let me tell you about my life
I grew up in Sweden in a family where I was the second child of five. I was always curious and intrigued by almost everything, but slightly shy and introverted as a kid. Eventually I overcame most of this, though I still feel I have much to learn about being open and expressive.
I learnt to read at age 3 and started school one year earlier than the norm. This never bothered me at all! I excelled at all subjects abstract and theoretical such as mathematics and physics, while I struggled a bit with those involving self-expression and writing. Still, I had a great gift for languages. I learnt over seven of them since I was a baby (not counting programming languages) and I am still picking up more.
Without any clear life purpose, I considered becoming an architect. Eventually I chose the path my father suggested me. I was to get a Master of Science degree in Engineering. I started very excited, got good grades and completed all the courses the first two years. But then, as I got closer to the end, I couldn’t bring myself to finish the studies. I even took a sabbatical to study Japanese one year. The studies dragged on, and without any financing I accepted work at my fathers company as a software developer. I worked for many years, sometimes full-time and sometimes very sparsely. Eventually I moved to the Basque Country in Spain with my girlfriend since many years. I worked mornings with her as the boss in the green-houses her parents, and afternoons for my father’s company.
After two years I had saved money and paid the debts from my time as a student. I had a strong feeling that something was missing. That both I and the people around me were worthy of more happiness and a more fulfilling life. I spent thousands of hours reading watching videos and reading articles, blogs and books on deep topics such as enlightenment, psychology, self-help, self-mastery and spirituality … eventually I experienced enough to write several books myself.
I realized I was too dependent on others and broke up with my girlfriend.
Still living at her fathers apartment, I registered a domain on WordPress and wrote my very first blog post. (the date on the post has unfortunately changed!).
I then used parts of my savings to buy the bass guitar of my dreams. I sang and rapped on recording for the first time in my life. I started recording a music album with nine songs.
I was happier than I had ever been in my life, and found an apartment where I wanted to live and build a combined art and music studio. I thought I could live with my saving for at least a year, and increase them by making good investments in the stock market.
I had created such a strong life purpose, that it made me feel like I was the whole universe. I felt completely aware and conscious during all the times of the day, and with more confidence in myself than ever. I had already made plans for three more albums with a total of 39 songs. Then I doubted myself, and it threw me around like a leaf in a hurricane. I lost all my savings … but I still didn’t want to quit pursuing my dreams.
The following years I got so many ideas from insane bursts of creativity and insights for how to change and improve the world with new businesses, changes in current business, governments, institutions and ways of thinking that I feel I would have to live several hundred if not thousands of years were I to try and implement them. I felt so overwhelmed by being able to create anything that could ever be imagined to exist, that I couldn’t do anything at all. I was stunned by infinite beauty over and over again.
I will never be able to fully describe the mystical experiences in 2017 but I can still try with some: I sensed energies of collective ideas such as soda brands and controlling religious dogmas manifested as actual physical forms. I felt like a Bodhisattva, and I tapped into minds of artists and geniuses. I even felt the weather change depending on my thoughts.
I studied five languages at the same time; Arabic, Hindi, Chinese, Portuguese and Russian. I achieved the rank of Master in 4 out of 5 categories (Math, Reading, Speaking and Writing) in the brain-training app Elevate (Apple’s App of the Year in 2014 and Google’s Editors Choice).
I spent over a year without money, without a phone number and without any electricity in the apartment I lived in. I didn’t use toilet paper either, but that was for ecological reasons.
Thanks to the town library, and the town center’s WiFi I stayed connected with and made friends with a ton of people from all around the world via Facebook, Instagram and many other social media sites. I edited the recipe book I had written with over 20 recipes, translated it into Spanish and even begin translating it into Chinese. I also built two Minecraft game worlds, and published an detailed journal for each of them.
I created art and wrote poetry and published it on Instagram and this website.
I learnt hundreds of fun exercises from calisthenics, free running, gymnastics, Olympic weightlifting, weight lifting and yoga and also invented my own moves. Mostly training outdoors, I taught many kids and even adults cool workout skills such as pull-ups, chin-ups, pushups, jumps and handstands.
In May 2018 I got an offer for a CEO position in one of the world’s leading companies coaching coaches. It was very well-paid, but I didn’t accept it. I felt that I was meant for something else.
With no money I got my food from what I could grow on the terrace of the apartment I lived in, along with food left by other people. Still, I often went without eating any food for days, without any trouble. But I eventually broke my vegan and even my vegetarian diet. This led to a downward spiral, both mentally and physically.
One day I felt so confused that I left with the keys in the door and a message to my landlord. I even left my laptop in a trolley in the town square. I walked up in the mountains and stayed there one cold night. Then I changed my mind and walked back to find no keys and no laptop. Eventually I got in contact with my landlord, but I had to find another place to live.
I partly cleaned out the upper floor of an abandoned house which a robber had filled it with empty soda bottles and packages from vending machines. There I stayed a few weeks, eating mostly apples, bread and figs. One of the strangest thing that happened then was that I saw a child exactly looking like myself passing by one day.
Before I moved back to my parents, with the help of my ex-girlfriend and her mother, something I feel very grateful for. My family might have thought I was lost forever.
When I traveled to Sweden I experienced some strange occurrences. The environment morphed from 1980’s and back again to 2010’s in brief seconds, along with items disappearing and reappearing. Eventually this stopped and things went back to ‘normal’. Still, a part of me that knows, there is actually nothing that is normal, even the most mundane things.
Now I am living at their house while looking for new opportunities. Most of my time is spent improving this website and searching for jobs, but I also find time for activism, art, exercise, music, poetry, reading and studying. My head is still partly a fountain of ideas, but now it is mostly limited to software programming. In one month since I got back from Spain I wrote down eight new project ideas!